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PUBLIC SPEAKING GUIDE ONLINE
CHAPTER 1
Why Public Speaking is Scary
CHAPTER 2
Learn to Relax
Basic Relaxation Exercises
Visualization
CHAPTER 3
Preparing to Speak in Publicm |
Planning
Getting Organized
The Anatomy of a Speech
Practice Makes Perfect
CHAPTER 4
Helpful Hints
Stage Fright
Starting Your Speech or Presentation
Oops—Can We Start This Over?
The Importance of First Impressions
Memory Tips
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Making Friends with the Microphone
Dressing for Success
How to Use Humor Appropriately
Selecting the Right Word Choice
Good Posture and a Positive Personality
How to Effectively Use Props
Don’t Forget to Breathe
Add Some Feeling
Get Moving
Controlling Your Hands and Arms
Body Language—Is Your Body Saying More Than Your Mouth?
Dealing with Questions
Introductions
Keeping the Audience on Their Toes
Last-Minute Checklist
CHAPTER 5
Types of Presentations and Speeches
The Toast
The Acceptance Speech
Giving a Sales Pitch: Being Persuasive
Speaking on a Panel
The Roast
Master of Ceremonies
Making a Rebuttal
The Welcome Speech
The Tribute Speech
The Meeting
In Front of a Class
Television Appearances
Speaking on the Radio
Impromptu Speaking
Bibliography
CHAPTER 1
Why Public Speaking is Scary
If you’re going to stand up and speak in front of a roomful of people, you are probably going to be nervous. If you’re not, it means that you’re either a very experienced public speaker, not fully aware of the speaking situation, or just plain out of it.
So why does just the thought of speaking in public make so many people nauseous?
It’s natural to want to make a positive impression on other people. People go to great lengths to make a good impression on others, from taking classes in speech, manners, and presentation skills to shopping for the right outfits and even undergoing plastic surgery. Billions of dollars are spent every year on products and services to help us look and sound better in front of our peers. And to make things worse, the media is constantly featuring attractive people who look and sound remarkably at ease in front of the camera.
Speaking in public emphasizes those feelings of wanting to make a good impression. We feel our own insecurities being magnified, and we are keenly aware of being judged. In addition, we want to sound intelligent, poised, and professional as we definitely don’t want to make fools of ourselves. With all of that at stake, it’s no wonder we are so scared of speaking in public.
But yet, thousands of people get up and speak in front of others every day. How is that possible if we have so much to lose? It’s easy to do—simply change your way of thinking. Of course, that’s easier said than done. However, if you change your attitude from “What if I make a fool of myself?” to “What if I really do well?” you’re already on the right path to a more positive mindset. It’s amazing how many people will dwell on the potential negative scenarios in contrast to how few will visualize people walking up to them after their speech or presentation and saying, “Nice job” or “I really enjoyed your talk.” The thought of impending disaster overshadows the potential positive feeling of a job well done. If a baseball player visualized striking out more often than rounding the bases, he probably never would have stuck with the sport. Why not put the same positive imagery to work for yourself?
If you stop and think about it, you’ll probably find that 99 percent of the public speaking engagements that you have been to have gone just fine. The question isn’t whether the speakers were great orators, but simply how many met with disaster. For the vast majority of speakers, their clothes didn’t suddenly fall off, birds didn’t swoop down and take away their notes, and they didn’t forget their speech (and even if a speaker missed a line or two, or ten, chances are you didn’t even know it). It’s safe to say that you probably cannot remember a real public speaking disaster that you’ve seen.
The key to successful public speaking is preparation. If you are confident that you know your material and can clearly explain it to the mirror or to a friend or colleague, then most likely you are ready to speak. At that point, the number of people watching or listening should not matter. Your presentation is ready, and you’re ready. The audience will enjoy, appreciate, be entertained by, or be educated by what you have to say. And, if not, that’s no longer your concern—you’ve done your part. You cannot control your surroundings, but once you are well prepared and have rehearsed, you can get up there and speak with confidence.
We tend to think that the audience is 100 percent focused on how we look and what we have to say. But the truth is that unless you’re giving the State of the Union address or accepting an Academy Award, all eyes and ears typically do not remain on you as you speak. In fact, surveys have shown that audience members usually remember very little of a speech or presentation. At least a few of the people in the front rows have to go to the bathroom and are wondering how they can get out without being noticed. A good number of the people in the middle rows are half listening and half daydreaming, while the people in the back rows can’t see you very well and are busy studying the people in the seats around them. So, in other words, no one is 100 percent focused on you. If, in fact, you do so well up there as to make them forget their other concerns, then you have succeeded beyond your wildest hopes. If not, you’ve simply succeeded in delivering your message.
The old saying “You are your own worst critic” is especially appropriate when it comes to public speaking. It is mainly what is going on in our own minds that make us so nervous about speaking in public.
It is well known that many famous speakers and performers such as Winston Churchill and Carly Simon had stage fright. Yet they rose to the occasion and channeled that fear in a way that helped them give a stellar speech or performance. You too can channel your nervous energy through positive imagery and think, “I’m going to wow them.”
CHAPTER 2
Learn to Relax
It’s been said that the only thing scarier than death is speaking in public. But it doesn’t have to be that way. This book is designed to give you the basic information needed so that you will feel more confident and comfortable when speaking in public. The goal of this book is to help you overcome your fear by first learning how to relax, prepare, and practice.
You’ve probably heard it many, many times before, but the suggestion that you should picture the audience naked does actually have some value. You’re standing vulnerable before them—feeling naked, in a way—so imagining them literally naked can make things feel a little more equal. True confidence, however, comes not from how you picture them but from how much you believe in yourself, what you have to say, and how you present it.
To get you started on the right track, the next several pages present some exercises and techniques to help you relax, prepare, and practice.
Relaxation will help you eliminate negative energy and open the door to positive visualization and positive energy. Instead of harboring your stress, your mind and body will focus on the task at hand - communicating.
Preparation is the cornerstone to speaking success. Researching, planning, and organizing will make your job that much easier. You will have more confidence if you are properly prepared to speak.
Practice may not make you perfect, but it will help you eliminate mistakes and familiarize yourself with the material. It will also help you hone your communication skills. Practice also provides a time to experiment.
Of course it won’t come all together with one session in front of the mirror, but in time, using some or all of the techniques listed, you can start the process that will improve your public speaking abilities.
The type of speaking you are preparing to do is somewhat irrelevant at the initial practice stage. Later you will refine your skills with more specific types of speaking engagements in mind. For now, you just want to get comfortable with the general idea of speaking in front of other people—being seen, being heard, and connecting with your audience.
AN IMPORTANT STEP
First of all, you need to tell yourself, “There is no reason to be afraid of speaking in public!”
People speak in public every day—in front of business colleagues, friends, family members and large audiences of strangers. They do it, they survive, and more often than not they feel very good about having spoken.
WHERE TO START
A quiet, relaxing place, with minimal distractions, will allow you to focus on the initial relaxation and breathing exercises. It will also allow you to close your eyes and visualize, as well as to gather your thoughts as you structure and build your presentation.
After you have been practicing for a while, it is beneficial to find a place where you can set up a video camera to tape yourself. Later, shift to a noisier place, since there are usually distractions around you when you speak in a public setting. Finally, look for someplace that resembles the setting in which you will be speaking.
A FEW THINGS TO ALWAYS KEEP IN MIND
As you set off on the road to more comfortable, polished public speaking, you should take with you ten tidbits of advice that will serve you well:
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If you’re worried about speaking in public, know that you’re not alone.
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You don’t appear as nervous as you think you do—most people can’t even tell.
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The audience is usually on your side. They want you to succeed.
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It’s okay to express vulnerability—in fact, it’s typically well received.
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You don’t have to be perfect. If you mess up or make a mistake, just keep on going.
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Set time aside to prepare.
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Set time aside to practice.
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Don’t forget to breathe when you speak.
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Remember to make eye contact with your audience.
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Try to have fun!
Remember, most people are scared when it comes to public speaking. With that in mind, try to muster up all of your nervous energy and just do it. Once you step away from the microphone and one person walks up to you afterward and tells you that he or she benefited from what you had to say, you’ll no longer feel like a scaredy cat—you’ll feel like a great speaker.
Basic Relaxation Exercises
Relaxation exercises come in handy whenever you feel stress about speaking in public, whether you are preparing to speak in a month or going onstage that evening. The following sequence of relaxation exercises is a simple way to calm your nerves.
RELAXATION
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Stand comfortably, arms at your side, and take several deep breaths (wear comfortable, loose-fitting clothing).
HANG YOUR HEAD
ROLL IT
FACERCIZE
STRETCHING OUT
TIGHTENING
LETTING GO
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With your arms still tensed and extended, turn your right wrist and hand back and forth as if you were turning a doorknob, trying hard to open a door. Tighten those fingers around the doorknob. Do it several times.
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Count down from three: three, two, one. When you reach one, keep your right arm tense but let your hand drop and your fingers hang limply. Then let your arm drop limply.
BASIC DEEP BREATHING RELAXATION EXERCISE
Many athletes and performers use this simple means of breathing properly to relax before a competition or performance. You can use it to reduce stress before you speak, thus allowing you to focus better on the task at hand.
Visualization
Visualization is a tool that can help you relax almost anywhere. While a quiet room is preferable, you can also practice visualization while waiting in line at the store or while sitting in a traffic jam.
BASIC VISUALIZATION EXERCISE
Picture yourself:
(Hint: After you visualize this scene from your perspective on the stage or podium, picture yourself from the perspective of your audience, as though you are watching yourself on tape.)
Add more details each time you do this exercise. For example, add more details about how the room looks, the size of the audience, or any materials you will be using.
Repeating this visualization several times will make the mental experience more comfortable and familiar. This will carry over into your real presentation, keeping you calmer and more relaxed.
SIMPLIFIED VISUALIZATION EXERCISE
In case the previous exercise seems too intimidating at first, begin with a simpler version.
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Picture yourself standing up in front of two or three people you feel very comfortable around—friends, your spouse, your children—and telling them what you have to say. Don’t present your material—just talk to them. If it’s easier, start with all of you seated, then picture yourself standing up as you talk.
POSITIVE VISUALIZATION
A standard and very popular relaxation method, known as positive visualization, can be done almost anywhere. It works well if you can let yourself get lost in your visual imagery.
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Picture yourself in that place and very clearly visualize each of the elements around you—sand, grass, breeze, scents, and so on. Focus on each detail of the setting, letting all of your senses take in the imagery.
Positive visualization has helped numerous speakers, athletes, and performers. In fact, some people are said to be so good at it that they can visualize themselves on a beach and, when they’re finished, walk away with a tan.
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CHAPTER 3
Preparing to Speak in Public
Planning and preparing for any type of public speaking engagement can make a world of difference. Very few speakers can truly wing it. The better you know your topic and the better prepared you are to present it, the more comfortable you will feel. The fear of making a fool of yourself will greatly diminish as you gain confidence in your ability to present the subject matter. You may even come to look forward to speaking in public.
Planning
Architects have blueprints, chefs have recipes, and teachers have lesson plans. Speakers too should have some kind of plan whether it be an outline, an overview, or a summary in whatever form makes you most comfortable.
Presentations will vary greatly depending on the audience, subject matter, and occasion. Someone making a toast at a wedding reception, a person making a presentation in front of the board of directors, and someone conducting an orientation for new college students are going to be taking very different approaches.
Before you begin planning your presentation, you need to ask yourself two questions:
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Why are you speaking?
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To whom will you be speaking?
Later we’ll look more closely at different types of speaking engagements.
REASONS FOR SPEAKING
So, just what is your reason for speaking?
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To persuade
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To inform
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To resolve a problem
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To entertain
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To debate
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To motivate
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To demonstrate
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To honor, pay tribute to, or present an award to someone
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To introduce or welcome someone or something
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To accept an honor or award
GETTING TO KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE
The more you know about the people you will be speaking to, the easier it will be to tailor your presentation. Therefore, you will want to get an idea of who will be in your audience.
For example, a speech at a retirement dinner for a colleague will likely be in front of people who know a great deal about the guest of honor. This allows you to make relatively subtle references to the honoree’s habits or traits. On the other hand, at a sales presentation to introduce a brand-new product, you will have to explain the product in detail. Audiences often have a basic level of familiarity with the subject of your presentation but are there to learn new or specific details.
To determine whether you need to start with the basics or can dive right into more advanced details, ask yourself:
To determine their level of interest and enthusiasm ask yourself:
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Are audience members here solely by choice, or were they sent by their employer, for school credit, or for some other reason (such as a court ordered parenting class)?
To determine the level of language to use and, more importantly, what common reference points to include, ask yourself:
If you are speaking in an effort to persuade others (such as a political speech or rally), ask yourself:
Answers to the above questions will help you prepare for your speaking engagement. Do some research on who will be attending. If you are in front of an audience and not sure who is sitting out there, you might ask a general question or two in order to determine who is out there and what they know. You might even tell a joke (a tasteful one, of course) to see how they respond.
THE AUDIENCE DOESN’T HAVE TO LOVE YOU
One mistake too many speakers make is trying to please everyone in the audience. The truth is, it simply can’t be done. If you speak before a hundred people and one dozes off while two others walk out, you cannot take it personally.
In most public speaking circumstances, the majority of your audience will be rooting for you to succeed. If not, they’re likely to be, at worst, indifferent. This is not a reflection on you; it may simply mean that people have other things on their minds. For that matter, the person who walks out when you are speaking may have just realized that if he doesn’t leave at that moment, he’ll miss the last train home. There are many reasons whey audiences respond as they do—just don’t take them personally.
Part of preparation is telling yourself, “Not everyone will love me…and that’s okay.” Even the finest actors and speakers of our time have received bad reviews. It happens!
Some people will not want to like you from the minute you are announced because of the mood they are in on that particular day. On the other hand, others may love you not because of anything you’ve said but because you remind them of someone near and dear to them or because they love your choice of shoes. You cannot possibly address all the reasons why people like or dislike a speaker. The best you can expect from an audience is respect, which means that they remain quiet unless some response is warranted.
Whatever you do, just remember they don’t have to love you!
CONNECTING WITH YOUR AUDIENCE
While you cannot be all things to all audience members, you can make some effort to connect to your audience (however the larger the crowd, the harder this is to do). Politicians try to do this in obvious ways by taking on the look of the crowd in a respectful way (such as wearing a certain kind of clothing), eating ethnic foods, and so on.
For instance, when speaking to young children, using exaggerated expressions and gestures can help one hold their attention. Sharing an anecdote that the group specifically relates to can work well. For example, if you’re speaking in front of a group of veterans, an anecdote from your days in the military may go over quite well. If you are speaking to college students, you will likely want to take a more casual approach, while doing the corporate thing calls for an entirely different sort of presentation.
The more you speak in public, the more easily you’ll be able to adapt to your surroundings. From your choice of words to your choice of clothes to your body language and gestures, you’ll learn to give the people what they want.
Getting Organized
No matter how much research you may need to do, in the end you will want to narrow it all down to 3-by-5 index cards.
First write down your objective—why you are speaking—and prop the card in front of you. You might even want to keep this on a sticky note.
Next, brainstorm about ideas you could present to your audience, and write each on a separate card. After you have come up with many possible ideas, sort the cards into four piles:
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Ideas you definitely want to talk about
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Ideas you may talk about if you find enough information or have enough time
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Ideas you can eliminate or may use only if trying to stretch
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Ideas you will eliminate
Once you’ve sorted your ideas, take the ideas you most want to use and conduct research on each of them. Even if you think you know all about a topic, it can’t hurt to look up some of the latest developments or find a recent article from which to quote. Of course, the less you know about a topic, the more you need to research. Being unprepared makes public speaking infinitely harder. And audiences can usually tell pretty quickly if they know more about the topic than you do.
PRIMARY AND SECONDARY RESEARCH
Primary research refers to data that you generate yourself, through surveys, questionnaires or interviews. Secondary research refers to material you gather from books, magazines, newspaper articles, or the Internet. You can use either or both.
IMPORTANT ELEMENTS TO INCLUDE
To make any type of public speaking more informative and enjoyable, try to include some of the following elements:
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Facts and figures. Make sure they are accurate and current. Double check your sources, especially if they’re from the Internet. And unless you’re running for political office, try hard not to bend the truth.
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Quotes. Make sure quotes are accurate, and attribute them to the correct sources (explaining who they are if they aren’t well known). Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations and other collections of quotations are prime references. But don’t overdo it. This is, after all, supposed to be your speaking engagement.
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Stories and anecdotes. The longer the presentation, the more effective stories or anecdotes will be, since they break up the speech. Keep them concise, and make sure it’s clear why you included a particular story or anecdote in your presentation.
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Jokes. Use only humor that’s appropriate for your audience—the joke about the two nude sunbathers may not be the one to tell at a church social. If you’re using a joke from a joke book, try to find one that you don’t think everyone has heard a million times. If you’ve written an original joke, try it out on a few people before using it—jokes can be very hit-or-miss.
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Props. Unless you need a prop for a specific demonstration, use props that are easy to explain and are manageable. Also, keep in mind the size of the room. Steve Martin used to get laughs by announcing that he was going to do the disappearing dime trick in a 19,000-person arena.
The Anatomy of a Speech
It doesn’t matter if you’re speaking for two minutes or two hours—you must have a method to your madness. Make sure your presentation has a specific beginning, middle, and end.
The beginning. Establish your reason for speaking early on, for example:
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“Tonight I’m going to explain the benefits of the new XL2 super-ultra-micro-mini computer chip, which you can see here on my thumbnail.
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“I’d like to thank everyone for this great honor…”
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“Sales have been down this quarter, and today we’re going to address why that is and find out who is responsible.”
You don’t have to state your reason for speaking in the very first sentence. However, somewhere in the early part of your presentation you need to state your purpose. Remember the objective that you wrote down on an index card or sticky note? Incorporate it into a purpose sentence—a concise line that introduces why you’re speaking.
You may have a special opening line that precedes your reason for speaking and grabs the audience. Lou Gehrig began his memorable speech upon retiring from baseball with “Today I consider myself the luckiest man in the world.”
Opening lines can be very effective. But somewhere early on, you need to make it clear why you are up there.
The middle. This is the guts of your presentation, where you present your key points. Here’s where you use the facts and figures you dug up with your research to tell them, sell them, teach them, persuade them, dissuade them, or communicate whatever message you have come to deliver. List all the points you want to cover, and make sure to allot enough time for each point.
The end. The longer you talk, the more likely it is that you will need to summarize. Keep in mind that most audience members will remember what you opened and closed with more than anything else. Therefore, make a strong final statement that sums up or enhances your reason for speaking. Many a speaker has saved a mediocre speech with a great final line.
Make sure your audience knows that you’re coming to the closing:
Or you may opt for a more entertaining way to signal that your speech is coming to an end:
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“Okay, so you’re probably wondering why I’ve been standing up here rambling for the last half hour.”
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“At this point I’ve completely run out of things to say, so…”
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“Before they get the hook and drag me off, remember…”
No matter how you do it, plan an ending and try to leave the audience with something they’ll remember. Don’t just keep talking until someone comes to get you or everyone has left the building.
Practice Makes Perfect
The only way to improve your speaking is to practice. Rehearsing before a public speaking engagement will help calm your nerves and build up your confidence.
BREATHING PRACTICE
Proper breathing is important for successful public speaking—it helps you pace yourself, it allows you to maintain a steady volume, it prevents you from trailing off at the end of sentences because you are out of breath, and it helps relieve anxiety.
To practice breathing correctly:
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Stand with your shoulders back and your back straight, not leaning to either side.
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Push your shoulder blades back; this will move your chest forward.
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Try lifting your chest slightly while keeping your head straight.
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Let your lower jaw drop naturally while opening your mouth slightly.
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Inhale deeply. You want your first breath when speaking to be a good one, so you can begin with a strong voice.
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Just as you finish inhaling, say, “Good evening. Tonight we’re going to talk about several subjects of interest to all of you,” as you naturally and slowly exhale. You’ll see how the words come out smoothly and clearly as you breathe properly.
PRACTICING WITH THE MIRROR
Although you don’t always need to practice in front of the mirror, it is a good way of assessing how you will appear to others as you present your material.
Playing around in front of the mirror can help you loosen up and get comfortable with expressions, body movement, and distractions. This will translate into more confidence when you’re up there in front of a crowd.
Try the following:
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Practice the alphabet slowly in front of the mirror. Not that you don’t remember it, but you want to become comfortable saying each letter and making each sound clearly. Move those lips.
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Practice the first three to five lines of your presentation in several different ways:
Try any or all of the above. The point is to become so familiar with the words and the many ways in which they could be presented that you will be very comfortable with what you are going to say. You’ll have recited the words in so many different styles that a natural, relaxed tone will come much more easily. You’ll be able to say those lines even in the face of distractions. You’ll also have some fun with the presentation, making it much more likely that you’ll actually enjoy it.
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Pick the tone that best fits the occasion and practice once more, letting any gestures or movements come naturally. It will be that much easier and probably a lot more fun! Once you’ve done that, practice again without the mirror.
PRACTICING WITH A VIDEO CAMERA
Practice several times in front of a video camera. Have the camera on a tripod or ask a friend to tape you. Get a full-body shot of yourself, unless you know you will be standing behind a podium. Focus on your words as you speak. Record yourself several times. When watching the tape, look for:
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Fidgeting with your hair or clothes
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Excessive hand movements
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Toe tapping
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Blocking any visuals you may be using
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Leaning to one side, forward, or backward
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Slouching, especially if you are seated
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Rigid body posture
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Looking off to one side too often
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Looking down when you talk
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Touching your clothes, your body, or the microphone
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Any other distracting habits or gestures
GESTURES AND MOVEMENTS
If you stand there stiff as a board, you will look and feel tense. If you try to script hand gestures, they will look fake and awkward. Therefore, you need to practice freeing up your hands while you talk—ultimately, you will become comfortable using natural-looking hand gestures.
Each speaker will use gestures that fit his or her personality. Typically, an extroverted speaker will make more dramatic gestures, while more introverted speakers tend to use simpler gestures. Nonetheless, gestures should be as natural as possible.
To get comfortable with gestures, you might intentionally use more exaggerated gestures to get them out of your system. Then return to focusing on your words, and allow yourself to use more typical gestures.
You can also practice moving around the stage while speaking. Though your movement will be limited by your surroundings, you don’t want to appear to be too stiff.
Find a central point on the floor and mark it with a piece of tape. Then practice walking while you talk. Remember not to stray too far from your mark, and keep looking at your audience as you move around.
PRACTICE WITH FRIENDS
After rehearsing a few times on your own, have a good friend or two listen to you speak. Ask your friends to stand in the back of the room; if more than one person is on hand, have them spread out.
After you speak, get some feedback:
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Are you speaking loudly enough?
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Are you speaking clearly?
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Are you doing anything distracting while talking?
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Are you looking down too often?
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Are you talking too quickly or too slowly?
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Are you talking in monotone?
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Are they getting the general idea of what you’re talking about?
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Are your examples clear?
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Do your stories and/or anecdotes help clarify what you’re saying?
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Are you asking too many questions?
TIME YOURSELF
Often you will have a limited amount of time in which to speak. Time yourself to make sure you stay within the allotted period. If you use a watch or stopwatch, try not to look at it once you get started—this is distracting and makes the audience feel that the speaker is anxious to leave. Position your watch, stopwatch, or timer so that you can see it without obviously having to look away.
Even if you don’t have a specific time allotment, you should get a general idea of how long you will be speaking. The amount of time for presentation will depend on the reason for speaking, the setting, and the number of other speakers.
SPEAKING GAMES
Once you’re more comfortable with the idea of public speaking, you may want to try these games to improve your speaking skills. Don’t take them too seriously—they’re meant to be fun. If you really want to find how you did, try audio-taping yourself instead of videotaping. A video can get you too caught up in watching yourself instead of paying attention to how you sound.
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Write down five subjects of interest to you on five pieces of paper. Throw them into a hat and pull one out. Set your alarm clock or a stopwatch for five minutes, stand up and talk on the topic for five minutes straight. Don’t worry if you stammer and stumble a bit, it’s just a way of getting used to speaking off the cuff.
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Same as above, except give yourself five minutes to find information and jot down some notes before speaking. While you’re speaking, try to refer to the notes as little as possible.
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With three or more people, have one person select a short, prepared piece of material such as a magazine article or a passage from a story. Then give the same material to two speakers to study for fifteen minutes. Each speaker will then present the material (notes are allowed, but no copying of the full text). Anyone who’s not speaking serves as a judge, deciding who gave the best speech. Use a ten-point scoring system, with a 1 to 5 points for knowing the material and 1 to 5 points for presentation.
Ideas for Instant Public Speaking
Here are some ideas for practicing instant public speaking:
Any appropriate situation that offers you a few seconds or a few minutes in front of a group of people can be beneficial, as it gives you a chance to prove to yourself that you can speak in front of others without stress. Look for opportunities in which you are with several other people and can speak up—even telling a story at a dinner party is an example of speaking in front of others.
CHAPTER 4
Helpful Hints
It seems fairly easy speaking in front of a mirror, doesn’t it? But you’re still probably concerned about the real thing—speaking in public. Let’s see if we can alleviate some of your worries by helping you solve several common problems, beginning with the biggest—stage fright.
Stage Fright
Stage fright shows up in many forms. For example, you may experience:
The physical symptoms you may experience come from the emotional fear that you will get up and fail in front of others. This fear can be very great and very real. After all, there are a lot of stress-related what-ifs being tossed around in your mind: “What will people think of me? What if they don’t like me? What if I forget what I want to say? What if I’m boring? What if I sound foolish or stupid? Even worse, what if I look foolish or stupid? What if they mock me or rebut what I have to say?”
In short, we fear that in the brief amount of time in which we stand before other people, we will be captured in the eyes of the audience on a blooper reel that will last forever. It all may seem incredibly scary, but stage fright can be overcome.
First, acknowledge your symptoms—dry your hands, take a drink for your dry mouth. Then sit is a comfortable position and focus on your breathing. Use relaxation exercises to slow a racing head. Remember, you tense the muscles, and then relax them.
The key is not to buy into the physical symptoms and allow them to take over. Remind yourself that these symptoms are not going to stop you from getting up and speaking. They are not going to defeat you.
IDEAS FOR COMBATTING STAGE FRIGHT
Here are some proven ways to combat stage fright:
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Be very well prepared, and be positively prepared. That means not just knowing your subject matter, but having a positive attitude about your topic. You’ve got something to say, and you really want to share it.
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Plan for a nonstressful, relaxing period before you speak. You might even develop a simple pre-speaking routine for yourself, as many performers do.
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Rehearse several times in conditions that simulate what you’ll experience while speaking—with distractions, in front of other people, and so on.
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If possible, visit the place where you will be speaking. Walk onto the stage; sit in one of the seats and see the stage from the audience’s perspective. Get comfortable in the setting.
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Take a few minutes before you speak to be in a quiet place. Whether it’s the green room or the restroom, find a place to do some breathing exercises, visualization, and quiet thinking about your topic.
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Watch the audience beforehand. You might even want to mingle as they come in, and get to know a few people. If you do, chances are they will be among your biggest supporters. Start liking your audience, and chances are they’ll like you.
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Remember, you do not have to be perfect. In fact, tell yourself you will not be perfect. If you make a mistake or something goes wrong, make a joke about it. Go with the proverbial flow and use humor as a tension breaker.
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Avoid stimulants such as coffee or soda with caffeine. Likewise, tranquilizers will give you more than a southern drawl, and alcohol may cause you to give a performance that you may not remember in the morning, and may not want to.
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Stay in the present. Forget about the piano recital thirty-two years ago that didn’t go very well. You’re older and more experienced now. That was in the past.
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Remember, 90 percent or more of the people in the audience would be just as nervous as you and would do no better or worse if they traded places with you.
Many speakers and performers put their nervousness to work for them. This means taking that nervous energy and using it to carry you through the presentation.
Starting Your Speech or Presentation
It’s time for the real deal. You walk up to the podium or microphone and you’re still nervous. It’s time to speak, but nothing is coming out of your mouth. What can you do?
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If there is a podium or place to put your notes, water glass, or anything else you need, arrange those items.
Oops—Can We Start This Over?
Since one of the biggest fears is that you screw up, why not prepare for the occasional foul-up? A wrong word or slight flub will probably not even be noticed, so you can just keep on going. Larger flubs will require some attention. Johnny Carson, the king of late-night talk shows, would have his writers intentionally prepare lines called “savers” that he could use during his monologue when a joke fell flat.
The larger the mistake, the more you need to acknowledge it:
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Sometimes an action will break the tension. Note, however, that if something draws the audience’s attention away from you, such as a waiter dropping a tray of drinks at a dinner party, then you need to stop, make a comment, and essentially meet the audience at the point of their attention—in this case the dropped tray—and bring their attention back to you.
The Importance of First Impressions
It’s a common belief that the first impression you make is critical. And it’s true that in the first few seconds, even before you open your mouth, your audience will form an opinion of you, for better or worse. Fairly or unfairly, people rush to judgment.
The reality, however, is that first impressions are somewhat overrated. Many marvelous presentations have started off slowly and ended with a bang. Nonetheless, it’s nice to get off to a good start, if for no other reason that it helps you to relax.
WAYS TO MAKE A BETTER FIRST IMPRESSION
Memory Tips
How do actors remember all of the lines of an entire three-act play or movie? They learn it scene by scene. You can do something similar—break your material down into sections or chunks and get to know the key points of each section. Remember, unless you’re reciting Shakespeare, in most situations you do not need to memorize your material word for word. No one will know if you go off track as long as you remember your next important point and get back on track soon.
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Break your material up into manageable parts. Look for changes in your subject matter or logical points to break it up. Mark each segment, or maybe even highlight it.
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Associate key words or phrases with chunks of material.
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You may also insert stories, anecdotes, or jokes accordingly.
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Practice several times using your cards and key words. In time you won’t need them, but you’ll still likely keep them around as a form of reassurance.
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If you find yourself going so far off on a tangent that you need to call AAA to get back on the road, go for your notes. You may want to stall for time as you find your place.
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Remember to make sure your notes are in the proper sequence.
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It is always acceptable and quite common, to take out material to read if you are specifically quoting from another source.
Use any memory prompts that you feel can help you. Just try to make your presentation flow smoothly, whether reading or from memory.
Making Friends with the Microphone
The bigger the room, the greater the need for a microphone. The modern microphone may be cordless, but it still needs to be handled with care—feedback does not enhance a presentation.
Follow these tips to make sure you get on a friendly basis with your microphone:
THE MOST COMMON MICROPHONE MISTAKES
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Looking as though you’re going to eat the microphone. You don’t need to hold it extremely close to your mouth to be clearly understood.
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Not believing the microphone is working when it is. Don’t tap on it.
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Gesturing with the mike in hand. No one will be able to hear you if the mike’s three feet away from your mouth.
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Believing a microphone is overly powerful. It usually won’t pick up questions from the audience.
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Not adjusting the mike properly. Position it so that you don’t have to stretch or bend to reach it.
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Being afraid of the mike. Don’t stand so far away from it that it won’t pick up your voice properly.
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Forgetting the microphone is on. Be careful what you say!
Dressing for Success
From the red carpet outside an awards ceremony to the hallway leading into the boardroom, people are looking at what you wear and how you look. Therefore, a neat, clean, well-groomed appearance is to your advantage, unless you’re fronting a punk rock band.
TIPS FOR DRESSING
Most of the time, you will want to dress a notch above the audience. Therefore, if the audience is wearing sport jackets or blazers, you might want to go for a suit. If they are dressed casually, you might opt for somewhere between casual and dressy. It doesn’t hurt to keep up with the latest fashions.
How to Use Humor Appropriately
Inserting a little humor into your presentation can relax an audience, brighten up your speech and make it more memorable, and build your confidence…so as long as your jokes work. Humor, however, can be a tad bit tricky. So stick to the suggested guidelines below:
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Unless you’re doing a comedy routine, plan to use humor sparingly.
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Plan your humor ahead of time. Even the best comedians are well prepared. This isn’t to say you can’t ad-lib on occasion, but don’t depend on it.
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Humor needs to fit the crowd. The slightly tasteless joke you heard at work is probably not the one to tell in front of the PTA or your church group. Also forget the inside jokes unless you’re sure everyone in your audience is an insider.
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Think of reference points. A joke about a typewriter probably won’t work in front of a sixth grade class because they may not even know what a typewriter is. Ask yourself, “Will they know what I’m talking about?” Many speakers have bombed when using the wrong material for a given crowd.
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An excellent rule of thumb is that you cannot joke about a minority or ethnic group unless you are part of that group. Even then, make sure you’re not stepping over the line of good taste.
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If you choose to tell a funny story or anecdote, make sure you clearly set the scene. Don’t just assume they know the details and jump to a punch line.
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It helps if you’re enjoying the story or the joke you are telling. Smile.
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Puns and riddles typically do not work.
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Try to work humor into your speech so that it flows. Don’t blatantly announce an upcoming joke with something like “And now I’d like to tell a joke.”
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Focus on humor that people can relate to from everyday occurrences.
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Don’t be afraid to tell a funny story or joke about yourself. You do not need to be self-deprecating, but it’s okay to laugh at yourself.
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If a joke doesn’t get a laugh, just keep on going. You can comment on the joke not working, but never get upset with your audience if they didn’t laugh at what you thought was a great line.
Humor is definitely tricky. It is a fabulous way to break the tension, but you still want to maintain your credibility. Therefore, you have to know when it fits and when it does not belong. Too many speakers have tried to force a joke in when it isn’t the right time or place. Sprinkle humor into your presentation like a chef adds seasoning to a dish.
Selecting the Right Word Choice
As you prepare your presentation, you need to think very carefully about the words you will use. Many people like politicians, news broadcasters, and radio personalities have gotten themselves in trouble for failing to select their words carefully. For that reason, they then spend an inordinate amount of time correcting and explaining their previous statements.
So then, how do you choose what to say?
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Use conversational words. Whether you are speaking at a formal or informal gathering, you want to speak naturally. For example, “Within the past several days, it has come to our understanding that there has been some discourteous conduct displayed by a portion of our student community” sounds far more awkward than “We have recently learned that some of our students have been behaving poorly.”
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Select words that are inclusive of your audience. Speeches that have too much emphasis on I, me, or my can become quite self-indulgent and alienate your audience. Instead you might use phrases like “We can all benefit from…” or “You’ve probably all seen this type of thing before.” Even a rhetorical question such as “How many of us use deodorant every day?” can hook the audience.
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To repeat or not to repeat? It can be awkward if the speaker uses the same word repeatedly for no apparent reason. On the other hand, a catchphrase or buzzword can be effective. You might also repeat a word or phrase for emphasis. For example: “We need to get involved in our children’s education! We need to get involved in local planning issues! We need to get involved in our neighborhood cleanup!”
USING TRANSITIONS
Have you ever noticed how some speakers are able to move from one subject to another so smoothly that you didn’t even notice the transition? On the other hand, you’ve probably seen speakers who get so lost trying to make a transition that they practically need to send up flares to find the next topic.
Making a smooth transition is a key part of public speaking. Smooth does not always mean unnoticed or subtle. If the audience is taking notes or they are there for the purposes of learning or training, you’ll want them to pay careful attention to the fact that you are talking about something new.
Here are some ideas for making transitions flow smoothly:
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Use a bridge or connecting word or phrase, such as “In addition,” “Meanwhile,” or “Let’s also consider…”
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Take a momentary break for questions: “Before I continue, does anyone have any questions?” Note that asking for questions is effective only if you take a couple of questions and save the rest for the end of the talk. Otherwise, you’ll lose your continuity completely.
Be careful not to use the same transition repeatedly. Some people use the same word, such as anyway, so, or okay, every time they move on to something else. Awkward repetition gives the impression that you didn’t plan very carefully.
Good Posture and a Positive Personality
The manner in which you are standing can convey your energy level and enthusiasm. Posture and body language is an important part of public speaking, thus special attention is needed.
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Sitting can be tricky. Dangling legs look awkward and a bit childlike, which is adorable if you are four years old, but not if you’re forty-five. If your feet don’t reach the floor from a fully seated position, then perch on the front portion of the seat and put one foot flat on the floor.
In a small, casual gathering you can sit back more comfortably. But always remember to sit up straight. Sit well back in the chair with your feet flat on the floor. Or if it makes you feel more comfortable and will help you avoid the temptation to tap your toes, cross your legs at the ankles. Don’t cross your legs higher up as it tends to lead to foot wiggling or playing with shoes or socks.
Sitting tends to cause people to take more shallow breaths and thus to speak more softly. Keep this in mind and don’t let it happen to you. Remember to take in a good amount of air and project yourself.
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It’s okay to rest your hand or arm on a podium, desk, or table, but do it so that you look relaxed and informal while maintaining good posture. Note that leaning does not mean slouching. And don’t hang on too tight, or your audience will see that you are nervous.
EYE CONTACT
Too often speakers lose their audience because they are not establishing a rapport with them. Making eye contact with your audience will help solve your problem by enhancing the lines of communication, especially as you begin your presentation. It also gets the audience involved, and projects confidence and a sense of authority.
Conversely, looking away from your audience projects insincerity and conveys a sense that you don’t really care if they are listening or not. So don’t spend too much time staring at your notes or at the microphone.
Practice making eye contact while talking with friends. Be careful, however, not to stare. If you keep your gaze fixed on someone for twenty seconds, that person will become a little uncomfortable. And if you stare at someone for two minutes straight, he’ll probably get a restraining order against you.
To emphasize a point, you may lean toward or even step toward an audience member.
Look for a friendly or interested person. Ask them a rhetorical question, smile, make them part of your speech.
It is important to note that the larger the audience or the brighter the spotlight, the less likely it is that you will actually be able to make eye contact with audience members. Nonetheless, you want to look at the people you can see. Choose a friendly looking person in the middle of the audience, not in the first row, otherwise the people in the back rows will be looking at the top of your head.
How to Effectively Use Props
Props or visuals of any kind can enhance certain presentations and destroy others. If you are doing a corporate presentation, leading a training session, or conducting a demonstration of some type, props—anything from a flip chart to a prototype of a product—may enhance your speech. In the middle of a commencement speech or at a political rally, on the other hand, a prop might seem awkward. Know the crowd and the occasion. Then make sure that whatever you want the audience to focus attention on is being included for a good reason.
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Depending on the room and the equipment provided, have screens or other major props to the side of the stage, not in the middle. This way you maintain center stage and remain the audience’s main focus.
Don’t Forget to Breathe
Sometimes a two-second pause while speaking in public will seem to last forever. However, it’s worth it if it makes your presentation more effective. Pausing at the right time can:
Comics typically pause before a punch line momentarily to help emphasize the punch line to follow. Other speakers will pause after a key point in a story to make sure it sinks in. Don’t be afraid of the silence.
Add Some Feeling
Very often it is not what you say but how you say it that makes the difference between a so-so presentation and a great one. Consider the various ways in which you can say the following sentence and the difference in meaning.
Clearly, emphasis matters. Emphasize not only with your words but with your expression and gestures.
Get Moving
Are you too stiff on stage? Is someone from a museum building a glass case around you? If so, then it is time to start moving!
Movement helps the audience say attentive while helping you stay relaxed. After all, your muscles start to tense up if you stand in one position for a long time. If you are limited by a lectern or podium, try moving off to the side if possible when you are trying to make an important point.
Other tips:
Controlling Your Hands and Arms
Many speakers are more comfortable at a podium or lectern because it blocks their lower body and provides a place to rest their hands.
A microphone stand also gives you someplace to put your hands. However, it doesn’t look natural or relaxed. If you’re not comfortable holding the microphone, place one hand on or behind the stand to keep yourself centered. Leave the other hand free for gesturing. Hold on gently to prevent feedback.
Suggestions for taming your limbs:
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